but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
