If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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