just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
cat food counts as protein by the way
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
