What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
