Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
