god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
