So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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