Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
