THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize