Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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