I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
