So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
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I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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