I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Quick, to the slutcave!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
