You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm at about main and main street
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
