and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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