I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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