sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
