But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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