Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
