im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
