Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
