Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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