At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
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