why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
