Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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