when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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