At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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