And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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