you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
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he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
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She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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