I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
