i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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