And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Girls should come with a carfax report
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
