a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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