how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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