and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
