He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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