Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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