Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
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Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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