This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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