i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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