She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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