Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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