whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
