but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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