I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize