I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
