I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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