can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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