hotel room ftw
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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