Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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