Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
