alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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