i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so let's talk penis.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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