Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
