i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
