so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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