the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
