Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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