he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
