They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
