We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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