it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
