No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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