Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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