I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize