so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
